I must admit that since coming home from Bulgaria a couple of weeks ago I was feeling a bit blue. I know in my walk with the Lord that usually I feel a bit blue if I am out of His perfect will in some manner. As I was praying and seeking God as to why I was struggling, while at the same time trying to convince myself that it was just let jag or the overwhelming pile of paperwork I came home to, there was one issue that I had set apart within my heart that was off bounds to discuss with the Lord.
God’s Word is so true when it says:
—1 John 1:8
—1 John 1:8
Sin can simply be a heart that is out of sync with God. As I was talking to my husband about this funk I was in, he asked me if it had anything to do with the Little Castle. If you have been following our ministry you may remember that we have had a burning desire within our hearts to someday have a ministry house in Bulgaria to be used to help heal the brokenhearted. Ten years ago, we thought that God was leading us to purchase a place we named the Little Castle.
When Keith asked me that question, the words of Colossians 2:4 resounded within my heart.
Do you realize that we can deceive ourselves with our own fine sounding arguments! The arguments in my mind were: there is no way the Little Castle could ever be because of the work involved and the cost that is required.
Now I had a choice—I could choose to not search my heart concerning what was taking place deep within and remain in the funk or I could choose to say, “‘Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting’ (Psalm 139:23-24). Is this funk about the Little Castle?”
It was then that I realize that the funk began the moment I typed the sentence in the last blog post,
I was choosing to close the door to the Little Castle within my own heart. I didn’t want to dream of it anymore. I didn’t want to wait for God’s will anymore. I wanted to know the answer—either open the door or close it. What is God’s will? Yet, I was taking it into my own hands, and that is not where it ever was suppose to be!
It’s God’s place to open or close doors—not mine. I am only responsible to be obedient to walk through any open doors He places before me.
So here are the facts,
- We know that He has placed this dream within our hearts—the dream to someday have a ministry house to help heal the brokenhearted in Bulgaria. We know that He placed it there because if it were just our dream it would never have lasted ten years.
- As far as we know, the Little Castle is still for sale and the asking price per the Internet ad is 357,000.00 US Dollars—which is way too high for the condition it is in.
- The renovation costs could exceed 300,000.00 US dollars since it is over 5000 square feet and not livable at this point.
So what do we do? There are three doors before us.
God doesn’t call us to know the future. He just calls us to be obedient to walk forward and allow Him to either open or close the doors—not us! But while we are waiting we are to pray and seek His will (see Matthew 7:7-8).
- If God wants the ministry house to be the Little Castle—pray for the Lord to move upon the owners’ hearts to set the price at fair market value, pray that it is structurally sound and pray for many teams to come and help build it out because this job is way to large for us!
- If God wants the ministry house to be built on the land in the village—then pray for God to open that door by moving upon the hearts of those who will be deciding the court case. We have made a commitment to purchase this land with the owner who wants to sell it to us. It is just the court who is holding up the sale because a land-shark is after it.
- If God wants the ministry house somewhere else (which I must say I am tired of looking since we have looked for ten years)—pray for Him to lead us and guide us to that place and open that door.
- Lastly, pray for the Lord to move the mountain, which is currently keeping us Stateside concerning Keith’s Dad’s estate. It’s been a shaking, but it needs to move completely. We know that God is using this mountain for His perfect timing.
In closing, who am I to get sad, or mad, or bitter about an unfulfilled dream within my heart that I know God placed there? Instead, I need to run to Him and simply be obedient to the call He has on my life.
He has called us to minister to those who are hurting in Bulgaria. He has placed open doors before us across that whole country to do just that! So who am I to sit around and mope when there is work to be done!
We hope this blog post encouraged you in your own walk while at the same time updating you to the work we still desire to do in Bulgaria.
Feel free to share this post with your friends or pin it. And while you are at it feel free to post a comment or prayer request concerning your own struggle about knowing or waiting upon God’s perfect will.
Still enjoying His grand adventure, Keith and Cherie
I soooo understand what you’re saying Cherie & am living in it as well with wanting to get my books published, but not having the current where-with-all for it to happen!! I continue to pray the Lord will lead me to be aware of ANY open doors.
I pray HE atunes both our heart to by in sync with HIS melody as HE orchestrates :-))
Praying for you Joyce!
Thank you, Cherie, for sharing your heart in these matters. I’m praying for and Keith that He will fulfill your (His) hearts’ desires there in Bulgaria. Your reflections on wanting to to close off your your heart and make God’s decision for yourself resonated with my own heart strings! I experienced my own “hope deferred” earlier this week, and my heart has been sick with disappointment. I’m encouraged by your words to keep doing what He has in front of me to do, and to give my (His) desires over to Him to fulfill as He sees fit. Cherie, when God mows down the mountains before you, it will be a huge miracle for all of us to see. All of our faith will be increased when we see His mighty work in your situation. We will rejoice with you, as we are standing with you in prayer! >
Kellie, I was praying for you this week. Glad the blog post encouraged you.